Here I am at fifty.
From a free-range childhood in Te Puke to nursing in Africa, vineyards in Marlborough, and the founding of Hark & Zander… Reflections on faith, curiosity, and building something meaningful at fifty.
Some people say that when you turn fifty you become invisible.
I don’t feel invisible at all.
If anything, I feel more curious, more purposeful, and more grateful for the unexpected path that brought me here.
Growing Up in Te Puke
For me, the story begins in little old Te Puke.
I grew up before screens dominated childhood. We were free-range kids - climbing trees, whitebaiting in the river, riding bikes and horses, and disappearing for hours until Mum called us home for dinner.
Our family lived on a country section where my mum grew food organically long before it was fashionable. We milked our goat, grew vegetables, and learned early that nature provides when you work with it.
Those early years shaped me more than I realised at the time. They planted a curiosity about the natural world and how things grow - something that would resurface again and again throughout my life.
I grew up with three fun-loving brothers, which explains both my bravery and a few scars. My parents also opened our home to foster children, so alongside my brothers we gained many sisters too. Our house was often full - extra friends, extra stories, and extra hearts.
Faith was part of our family life from the beginning, and over the years it has become a constant companion through both joyful seasons and difficult ones.
Nursing, Africa, and Perspective
At sixteen I began university and started training as a nurse. I graduated at nineteen but was too young to register in New Zealand, so the very next day I boarded a plane to Africa.
Those eight months working in the Congo shaped me in ways I could never have imagined. In a hospital with no power, very limited equipment and no anaesthetist, you quickly learn what really matters.
The patients I cared for and the illnesses I saw gave me a deep appreciation for the inner strength people have, and the health systems we sometimes take for granted.
When civil war broke out we travelled our way around the world before returning home to New Zealand.
Travel and Curiosity
Travel has remained a thread running through my life ever since. Over the years I’ve been fortunate to visit fifty-nine countries - sometimes for work, sometimes for adventure, and sometimes simply because curiosity (or my travel buddy) pulled me there.
Those experiences widened my perspective enormously and gave me stories that still make people laugh - from being chased by elephants and hippos to swimming in waters where sharks circled a lot closer than expected.
Business From Young
My entrepreneurial streak actually started when I was twelve, selling greeting cards at the Baptist church in Te Puke.
While training and working as a nurse, I was also doing night classes in business and dreaming up ventures.
At twenty, I bought my first home using savings I had built since the age of twelve. Learning to save rather than spend became my enforced norm, a decision that created opportunities later in life.
Then I moved to London. What was meant to be a six-month trip turned into six years. I worked as Matron at Chelsea & Westminster Hospital with a team I still miss today. Being nominated for a British Prime Minister’s Award, we found ourselves celebrating in Monaco in a palace overlooking the ocean - one of those moments where life feels both surreal and, well, surreal.
But London was about far more than work. It was also where many lifelong friendships were formed. Some of the people in my life today first crossed my path there - through shared houses, work, church, and the everyday rhythm of living in a city far from home.
From snowboarding trips in Chamonix to slightly questionable backpackers in Prague, those years were full of adventure and laughter. The friendships forged during that time have stood the test of time and remain some of the greatest gifts from those years.
Eventually life drew me back home to New Zealand, and another chapter began almost accidentally. Photography had started as a creative interest, but it quickly grew into a full business. What became the TigerTiger Agency ended up being part of my life for nearly twenty years and taught me a great deal about entrepreneurship, and how important systems and processes are.
In 2007 I invested in land with friends in Marlborough and we planted a vineyard. Like many people entering the wine industry, I was perhaps a little naïve at the beginning. There’s a saying that if you want to make a small fortune in grapes, you start with a large one. Funny… and true.
My photography business quietly supported me while I was learning how to run the vineyard - a life change that turned out to be both more challenging and more rewarding than I had imagined.
So what began as a silent investment slowly became a much deeper involvement. Over the years I moved from investor to managing director, learning viticulture, learning to love wine, and gaining a growing respect for soil and the complexity of growing things well.
Why I Started Hark & Zander
Curiosity has always been one of my strongest drivers.
That curiosity eventually led me deep into researching plant oils, skin barrier health and how botanical compounds interact with the skin.
What began as personal research gradually developed into the formulation we now call Sativelle®, our proprietary botanical oil blend that sits at the heart of many products at Hark & Zander.
But the real beginning of Hark & Zander came from something very personal.
For a long time my skin reacted badly to almost everything I tried. As a nurse I understood enough biology to know the skin barrier is delicate and easily disrupted.
The more I researched ingredients, the more I realised that many formulations were unnecessarily complicated and full of substances sensitive skin simply didn’t need.
So I began experimenting with creating formulations that worked with the skin rather than overwhelming it.
In 2020, during the strange stillness of the Covid lockdowns, Hark & Zander was born.
Loss, Healing, and New Life
That same year also brought one of the hardest seasons of my life. I became pregnant with my son Isaac but became very unwell with sepsis and lost him at fourteen weeks.
Grief has a way of reshaping your perspective. It strips life down to what truly matters and deepens the conversations you have with God.
In the middle of that difficult season, starting a new business gave me something constructive to focus on while I slowly recovered.
And then, in 2021, my daughter Isabelle arrived - a joyful, blue-eyed reminder that miracles still happen. She brings laughter, purpose and an impressive ability to wake up early and start the day singing.
And recently we welcomed another new member to the family - Zandy, our beautiful puppy. Arriving as I turn fifty, it seems the next chapter of life is beginning with plenty of energy.
Soil Science and Curiosity
My curiosity about soil and plant systems has continued to grow as well.
What began as a Masters in soil science is now expanded annd transitioning into a PhD, researching carbon sequestration.
The deeper I go into this research, the more I see how connected everything is - healthy soil, healthy plants and healthy people.
Apparently I’ve never been very good at doing things halfway.
Turning Fifty
And now here I am at fifty.
Some people say that when you reach this age you become invisible. But I don’t feel invisible at all.
If anything, I feel more alive and more purposeful than ever.
In many ways the first half of life feels like preparation - gathering experiences, learning lessons (some harder than others), building resilience and discovering what truly matters.
The next chapter feels different. Clearer. More intentional.
As Hark & Zander grows, many of our future products will be inspired by timeless virtues - love, joy, peace, kindness and generosity. These are the qualities that shape the way we live and treat one another, and unlike trends they never become irrelevant or invisible.
If the first fifty years have taught me anything, it is that faith, family and friendships carry us through every season.
Curiosity keeps life interesting.
And sometimes the most meaningful things we build come from the challenges we didn’t expect.
So here’s to the next chapter! One that feels full of purpose, possibility, and more adventure than I can probably imagine yet.
Thank you for being part of the Hark & Zander journey. I am deeply thankful for you, and for everyone who has walked through life with me. Bless.
